


A much needed conversation

by NerdyMassi



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: (well more hopeful than happy), Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Doctor/Master - Freeform, F/M, Mention Of Genocide, Post-Episode: s12e10 The Timeless Children, missy will get acknowledged, slight body horror
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-16
Updated: 2020-09-17
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:14:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23171521
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NerdyMassi/pseuds/NerdyMassi
Summary: The Doctor and the Master need to talk.
Relationships: Thirteenth Doctor/The Master (Dhawan)
Comments: 15
Kudos: 65





	1. Oh, mate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Doctor finds the Master in the ruins of Gallifrey. They have a few things to talk about.

There was nothing left of the capitol but smoke, and a smell of melted metal and burnt flesh.  
The Doctor tried to focus on the reason why she came back to Gallifrey, but for what seemed to go on for miles and miles, there was only the cybermen's shells. She was trying very hard not to think about what was in those metal carcasses lying around on the ground. Just looking at them could make her sick to her stomach. The twisted remains of her people were everywhere, and as she kept making her way through the city’s ruins she could feel her hearts pounding faster and faster.

Truth be told, the Doctor didn’t want to be here. But she’d been having terrible images stuck in her mind since the last time she’d come back. Of the Master’s voice encouraging her to kill them both, of the desperation and disappointment in his eyes as she lowered the weapon, of Ko Sharmus’ sacrifice for her. She knew the human was dead, but she had to come back. Telling herself it was just to be sure of what had become of the Master, so she wouldn’t be caught off guard the next time he showed up.  
After what seemed an eternity of searching in vain, she tried another way.  
The Doctor opened her mind, feeling around, hoping to find the Master somewhere. He had tried to escape, she knew, but he couldn’t possibly have made it out of the capitol before the explosion, let alone the planet. If he was still alive, he had to be on Gallifrey. It took a moment, but her mind eventually reached his. It was barely active but the connection, as flimsy and tenuous as it was, was enough to guide her steps in right direction.

There he was. Lying face down on the ground, his purple coat and other clothes burnt rags. She knelt beside him and turned him over onto his back. His face was the same as before, he hadn’t regenerated – yet – but that wasn’t a first. Half of him had burned in the explosion, and he was quite disfigured. The Doctor put her hand to her mouth in shock and looked away for moment, before taking a closer look at the Master. His pulse was as weak as the connection between their minds, but it was there. He wasn’t dead, but she wouldn’t describe him as being alive either. 

She didn’t know what to do. Her brains were running every possible option they could think of, until the obvious solution hit her full force. “Of course!” she exclaimed. Stressing about not being able to help didn’t make sense. She had an unlimited source of regeneration energy, after all.  
Then, gently cupping the Master’s face with both her hands:  
“Oh mate, you’re _so_ not gonna like this.”  
A golden flow of healing flames passed from her palms over to his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's my first time publishing one of my fics in about... 6 years, I think ? Also, english is not my native language, which means that as fun as it was to write this fic, some grammar/conjugation/spelling might be off, don't hesitate to tell me if that's the case !  
> I hoped you enjoyed it! The next chapters will be uploaded soon. Bye !


	2. Obvious

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Master wakes up. He and the Doctor start talking. Or rather, they start arguing.

The Master opened his eyes. He sat up on the bed and looked around, definitely not recognising this room. He tried to remember what had happened for him to end up in here, but all he could see was the Doctor abandoning him, not even having the guts to kill him herself. He remembered the blinding white light of the explosion, the sensation of his flesh burning, his own screams, but nothing else after that.He checked his hands: the same size and colour as before the explosion, unburnt. Touched his face, checking for burn marks that he couldn’t find.  
The Master breathed a deep, frustrated sigh and let his head fall in his hands for a while, realising what was happening.  
He was alive. 

He got out of the room and into the hallway. There was an oddly familiar humming of engines, and the Master could feel that the place was moving around, in space. He definitely was on a spacecraft. The kind that had cosy bedrooms that were – clearly – designed for humans, and long corridors , with their walls covered in pieces of metal that reminded him of round things in – he gasped a soft “oh” as he understood, finally identifying the place – the Doctor’s Tardis.  
He could see the control room at the end of the corridor, his hearts rate escalating as he saw her at the console, fiddling with the levers and buttons on it. She still looked tired. The conversation that the Doctor was having with the ship stopped when she saw him walk in. There was no animosity between them, no threat brewing, just a silent acknowledgement of the other’s presence.  
She didn’t step back as he slowly moved towards her, and took her hand in his. They stood there, their eyes scanning each other for a long, quiet moment. 

“- How are you? the Doctor asked, breaking the silence.  
\- I’ve got a question.  
\- I’m sure you do. Go ahead.  
\- What did you do?  
\- Patched you up! she said in a way that could almost be considered cheerful, if it weren’t for her worried gaze flickering from his face down to his feet, then back to his face. …You looked rough".  
He gave her an incredulous smile.  
“- I clearly remember my skin being burned off my face, _Doctor_ , that’s not something you can just ‘patch up’! he let go of her hand to mimic the brackets, What did you do?  
\- Fine! she sighed, shoving her hands in the pockets of her coat. I transferred some of my regeneration energy to you.  
\- You did what?  
\- You heard me. Just enough energy to heal your body without putting you through the whole process.  
He shook his head in confusion, trying to process the information.  
\- Why?  
\- What do you mean, why?  
\- I mean, why would you do that?”  
She looked at him as if he were dumb for not noticing something big right in front of him.  
\- Isn’t it obvious?”  
Yes. Yes it was. But he wouldn’t admit _that_.  
He hadn’t gone through the hassle of committing genocide on an entire planet, doing genetic manipulation – had she _any_ idea of how tricky _that_ had been? – on their own race – well, his own race –, of showing her the worst things the Time Lords had done, so she would hate him and herself enough to kill them both, erasing all trace that the Time Lords – and whatever otherworldly being she was – had ever existed, only to have her come and save him in the end because despite everything, she still _cared_ about him. Admitting it out loud, and to her face, would be like admitting that she had won. He didn’t reply.  
“- What’s the matter? the Doctor said, a hint of sarcasm in her voice, I thought you wanted my attention.  
\- Oh come on now Doctor, you did this just so you could once again prove how superior you think you are!  
\- What?! No, I did this because –  
\- I told you how much I hated that the Time Lords’ ability to regenerate comes from you and you just come back to rub it in!  
\- Well, I wouldn’t have done that if I hadn’t known it was unlimited which, I learned because _you_ had to go out of your way to tell me about it! I knew you wouldn’t like this, but you really only have yourself to blame for this, you bloody idi–”  
She cut herself off. They were both shouting at each other now and that wasn’t why she had come back for him. She didn’t want this.  
She shut her eyes and took a deep breath.

“You know what? I’m not playing any more. I’m done listening to you, I’ve heard enough. I’ll drop you off somewhere at the next deadly planet, if death is what you want. But for now, Master…” she switched a button on the console, effectively blocking access to the corridors and locking every door inside the ship, including the front ones, making sure he wouldn’t wander off mid conversation. Then, moving dangerously closer to him with an angry smile she finished: “… _you’re_ gonna have to listen to _me_.”


	3. Listen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyyyy it's been a while since I updated the last chapter ! But in the meantime quarantine happened, school and work saw it as an opportunity to give me lots of stuff to do so I couldn't focus on finishing the fic. The fourth chapter is already written, and I'm starting the fifth. Enjoy !

_“You’re gonna have to listen to me.”_

“And why would I do that? You didn’t seem very inclined to listen to me when I needed to talk with you.”  
“And yet I did, so now, you stop behaving like a 60-year-old child and you listen.”  
“We’ll be here a while dear, the Master sighed, if you start talking. Mind if I take a seat?” and without waiting for an answer, he moved away from her and went to sit on the Tardis’ stairs.  
“Go ahead” then said once he was sat, and the Doctor unclenched the fist in her pocket, fighting the urge to punch that falsely polite, arrogant smirk off his face. He hadn’t been up for more than half an hour and was already getting on her nerves. 

“- You know, I did consider leaving you there. I’m never truly worried about you because, each time you die or get killed after one of our reunions, you come back. You always do, somehow, don’t even know how you do this. It’s like you can’t get enough of it.  
\- Enough of what?  
\- Life.” There was a short silence before she added: “But not this time. Last time I had my hands on a device that could kill you, you asked me to let you live, but now you were almost begging me to kill you… and I nearly did. There was a split second where I genuinely wanted to do it.  
\- Yet you _didn’t_. Quite the opposite, actually.”  
Despite the provocation in his tone, his voice was barely audible and broke on the last word. The Doctor sat on the floor in front of him, leaning slightly forward, and replied:  
“- I wasn’t sure this time. But don’t you think that just because I did what I did for you, I’m not mad at you for what you did to our home. Don’t you think I’m over it, because I’m not. I still haven’t forgotten what you did to Bill, so don’t think I’ll let this pass.”  
She didn’t expect him to apologise or even look sorry, but she had hoped he would get the slight hint of intimidation in her voice. Instead he just kept staring at her, a falsely innocent look on his face.  
\- Who was Bill?  
\- You bloody well know who she was, you turned her into a cyberman.  
\- You know you’ll have to be more specific, I’ve turned a lot of people into cybermen lately.  
\- Don’t start! You know, I haven’t felt this much anger in such a long time, and I don’t think I’ve ever felt this much rage and contempt for you. I tried, no I’m still _trying_ my best to be a kind person but you’ve made it really hard lately. And as for our shared history, you said it meant ‘the pain and rage’ in your hearts? D’you have any idea what’s in mine? I’m so sick of all the mind games and manipulation and putting other lives at risk because of our fighting. I’m sick of thinking, every time we meet, that there still might be _hope_ for us to be, if not friends again, at least in good terms with each other. I’m sick of you proving to me time after time after time that there is no hope. Spent seven decades trying to help you be a better person because you wanted to live, you wanted to be better person, and I believed it, I truly did, only for you to stab me in the back again!”  
The Doctor noticed something in the Master’s eyes, the best way she could describe it would be a “what?” of… maybe shock, like learning a new information you didn’t know about. There also seemed to be a hint of indignation there too. Had she hit a sensitive nerve?  
“– You’re the one who left me, he finally said.  
She rolled her eyes.  
– I just came back for you, what are you talking about again?  
– I’m talking about that time with your friend Bill, _yes_ I remember her, I remember everyone I’ve killed since your stupid lectures about good and evil. I’m talking about that time where you once again left me for dead among cybermen.  
– That you had created, again. This guilt tripping won’t work on me. You know why I didn’t come back then?  
– Why?  
– Because I was too busy fighting off cybermen, on my own, because you had left me! You were the first one to leave! You betrayed me for your own self and I thought that it was over. Again. I actually died that day you know.  
– Well, so did I!  
The Doctor looked puzzled. She was annoyed, she really wanted to get it over with and get to the point, but he really was good at piking her curiosity.  
– What now?  
– You really have no clue why I did that, do you?  
– No, I don’t. Must admit I didn’t have much time to care about that.  
– If anyone in the universe has any time they want Doctor, it’s you.” The Doctor noticed the bitterness of his voice.  
“And right now I think you’re the one who should listen.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked it :D


	4. A lifetime too late

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's "Missy's development gets acknowlged" time !

_"You're the one who should listen"_

She rolled her eyes again and sighed, about to say that she didn’t actually care about his reasons, but too late – he had already started.  
“– I left you for what I thought would be a brief moment, to go and kill Saxon which I had to do so he would become Missy and…, and if that hadn’t happened”, he closed his mouth and remained silent for a few seconds, almost hesitant, then added, more casually, “I was going to say ‘I had to kill myself so that I would become me’ but that would have sounded too dramatic, wouldn’t it?  
The Doctor raised an eyebrow.  
– That’s definitely not what you were gonna say. Nothing’s too dramatic for you.  
There was another pause.  
– All right…, sighed the Master after a while, I was going to say that, if it hadn’t happened the way it did, I wouldn’t… I wouldn’t have stood with you in the end.  
– You wouldn't have what?  
– Don't make me repeat myself. I _meant_ to come back. But I couldn’t make it back to you in time, my younger self shot me after I stabbed him. I genuinely wanted to be – _ugh_ – to be good. But you know what ? even if I understood the whole ‘without hope, witness or reward’ thing, I still excepted that after more than half a century spent together, my _friend_ would have come back for me. Which, back then, you didn’t.  
Speaking those words, that had been stuck deep in the back of his throat for a couple of centuries, turned out to be less painful than what the Master had imagined. Less painful for him, that is, as he could tell from all the emotions passing on the Doctor’s face, the shakiness of her breath and the thousands of thoughts he could feel racing through her mind as her brains tried to process the new informations. Unlike her reaction to the Time Lords’ actual origins, right now, her confusion was the opposite of a delight. How could she not have known?  
“– No no no no no wait, y-you mean that… All this time you…”  
"– You really didn’t know this?"  
She shook her head. He slowly raised a hesitant hand to her face, but she avoided his touch this time, jumping to her feet.  
“– Then why?! If you were truly on my side – which I really doubt – why did you do all this?! We have each other’s phone numbers for god’s sake! You could have just texted me you were alive! You could have just told me about the Timeless Child, we could have figured something out together! You didn’t have to go and destroy our entire planet!”  
He got up too and spat back:  
“– Then what should I have done Doctor, hm? Had you been me, had you seen your own people experiment on and torture the _only_ being you care about besides yourself?! What would you have done?! Give the people responsible for their suffering a slap on the wrist?! Come on, love, be honest!”  


The Doctor looked away from him, taking in his words. She didn’t care much that the child had been herself. It had shocked and angered her, yes, but she’d been more interested into learning her own past than righting a wrong so old nothing but a database could remember it - and one could hardly call a genocide right. But if something like _that_ had happened to the person who was standing right in front of her now… Her enemy, but also her oldest, her worst and best friend, who in more ways than one was a part of her… In other lifetimes, the Doctor would have wanted to burn everything, to destroy every star and planet in the universe, to make every living being scared of waking their rage if it could have kept their human friends safe – all the while wanting to be stopped - she couldn't, no, didn't want to imagine what she would have done if the Master had been the one in her place.  


He stepped closer to the Doctor, his eyes probing into hers.  
“– Look at me, and dare tell me you wouldn’t even have thought of it.  
– You bloody well know the thought would have crossed my mind. But I wouldn’t have murdered everyone over something that happened aeons ago! No one even remembers it, not even me!  
– And does that seem right, to you? That one of the oldest and most powerful civilisations in the known universe erased almost every trace of their power’s origin to the point that not even the one they got that power from remembers it?  
The Doctor snorted, poked his shoulder with her index and replied:  
– Oooh and I suppose you know a lot about what’s right, don’t ya?  
– Your version of good isn't absolute, Doctor, it's not the first time I tell you so. And the problem is, my dear, that you came back exactly _one_ lifetime too late. You should either have come back for me then, and we could have gone home together and dealt with this discovery without any - well, less - bloodshed, or you should have just let me die on Gallifrey this time.”  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The last chapter is halfway written, but I've got a lot to deal with with school and work (we're trying to figure out how to keep things going while on lockdown), I might not be able to update this fic before July, sadly. It will be updated though, and hopefully sooner than July.


	5. Nine hundred and twenty five

He turned away from her, sighing as loud as if his words had required an important physical effort. He sat on the stairs again and stared at the floor.  
She wanted to tell him that she was there now, that she wouldn’t leave him behind this time, but he already knew that, the Master just wanted to avoid the subject and say what he could to convince himself that the Doctor was lying. 

He let out a laugh, soft and sad, and without a look in her direction he said:  
“– I’ve always thought we were the same, you and I. Despite our… moral divergences. I’ve always thought of us as some sort of equals, but we’re not. I’m not your oldest friend, and I’m definitely not your oldest enemy. I’m barely more than one of those mayflies you keep around to fill the void in your life once in a while. Just another one of your pets!  
– Don’t call my friends that. Don’t call _yourself_ that. It doesn’t matter that I might’ve had other friends, or enemies before the life where we met. You know why?  
– Why?  
– Because I don’t remember them, or even having lived those lives. You’re the first that I can actually remember. And, aside from my Tardis, you’re the only certain thing in my life. I always know that you’re out there, somewhere, and even after your deaths I know we’re gonna meet again."  
The Master finally raised his head to look at her.  
"– You say that, yet you’re always surprised to see me. And not in the good kind of way.  
– That’s because you’re always up to something terrible and trying to make my life a living hell and you know it.  
– So this is why you came back? To scold me? You went all the way from… – where were you by the way? anyways – you wasted regeneration energy on me even though I’ve done everything for you to hate me, you – ugh –…, you saved me, just to tell me I’m annoying? Seriously, Doctor?"  
Once again, she rolled her eyes. This was going to take longer than she had expected. In her frustration, she briefly considered knocking him unconscious and dropping him back on the ruins of their home planet to let him rot there, before shaking this idea out of her head.  
"– No, I didn’t do it for that, and you know it. You know why I came back for you, you just… You just want to…  
– …Hear you say it."  
The Doctor was taken aback. She was going to say “you just want to ignore it”, but she didn’t plan on opening up herself. Knowing the Master, he probably had manipulated the conversation as soon as she had asked “isn’t it obvious” so he wouldn’t be the one to acknowledge the elephant in the room. She clenched her jaw, unclenched it, and let out a deep sigh. She calmly walked towards the stairs and sat down right next to him. They were both looking in the distance, purposefully avoiding each other’s eyes. 

"– Right…, she started, this is a long story but I was in jail recently, and while I spent an excruciating long time there I also had nothing to do except thinking. Processing everything that happened on Gallifrey… and I did imagine what I would have done if you had been the Timeless child. I get it. I told you don’t condone your actions or agree with them, nor am I gonna forgive you anytime soon, we’ve already covered that, but I get it. Also… I couldn’t bear the idea of you being gone forever. And since I have this unlimited regeneration energy, I thought I could give some of it to you."  
The Master lost his composure, his mouth agape at the calm with which she admitted that.  
"– You’re right. I should have tried to come back for you when you were Missy. After all, I did swear I’d look after your body for a thousand years. But I had no way of knowing that it wasn’t me you were betraying.  
– You mean you didn’t feel the _knife_ I was holding when I squeezed your hand that day? After having told you that standing with you was also all I’d ever wanted?"  
Another silence weighed down on them. A tense, heavy silence.  
"– You know, I waited for you at first. When I found a way out of the ship, I went to the university where you were keeping the vault. No one. Nothing.  
The Doctor put her hand on his shoulder, turning him so they could face each other.  
– Well, I’m here now. And we still have nine hundred and twenty five years to go."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo everyone, I'm back ! It's the last chapter, which I said would be uploaded in July but y'know, 2020 was being 2020 and I didn't have time to finish the chapter (literally only had 300 words to add) before yesterday so... apologies for that, my friends.  
> I actually had the "you just want to/hear you say it" planned like two weeks before starting to work on the fic (which was supposed to be 3 chapters long), way back in March, I'm happy that it's done ! :D  
> What did you think ?


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